Hardships are hidden blessings

The pre-Ramadan enthusiasm I felt within
me was unmatched compared to any other
point in time throughout the year. In prior
months before this spiritual season, I
regretfully admit to losing sight of many of
the priorities and principles that I used to
hold so dear. Thus, as Ramadan drew near,
my spiritual preparations began. By mid-
Sha’ban, my goals had already been set, my
schedule was arranged and my heart was
desperately anticipating the blessed month
of Ramadan. However, despite all of the
extensive and precise planning on my part,
I had come to understand that Allah is Al-
Khaliq, the best of planners.
One week prior to Ramadan, I was
diagnosed with adult onset diabetes. Type 1
diabetes is a chronic disease in which cells
within the patient’s pancreas fail to
produce insulin, a hormone necessary to
transport glucose into the body’s cells.
Without insulin, the body is unable to use
glucose for energy. Thus, diabetics recreate
this process by injecting insulin into their
bodies several times throughout the day. It
is essential to continually monitor one’s
blood sugar in order to maintain a precise,
stable glucose level.
Unfamiliar with the disease at the time of
the diagnosis, my first concern had little to
do with my health, but rather whether or
not I would be able to fast in the upcoming
Ramadan. However, my doctors and family
did not see this as a priority considering the
disease had been developing within me for
several months and their sole concern was to
immediately begin treatment. Because I had
been readily awaiting Ramadan for the
past few months, this news was
heartbreaking. I was absolutely crushed.
Completely terrified by this entire process, I
quickly fell into somewhat of a depressive
state for the days following the diagnosis. I
was extremely frustrated by this whole
situation and frankly, angry that this
happened to me. The thought that
consistently occupied my mind day and
night was, “Of all the weeks to get
diagnosed with diabetes, it had to be the
week before Ramadan.” Even my doctors
agreed that it was somewhat of an
unfortunate coincidence. But nothing is ever
a coincidence.
The first week of the diagnosis was the most
disheartening, agonizing week of my life.
All of my excitement for the upcoming
Ramadan had instantly faded as I became
so extremely occupied with doctors’
appointments and coping with the side-
effects of the new medication. I was told
that because I was recently diagnosed,
fasting was not an option since regulating
your blood sugar is a learning process that
comes with time. Discouraged, I lost hope in
having the much-anticipated “Ramadan
experience.”
Although I was feeling weak in my iman
(faith), I attended the first Jummah
(Friday prayer) before Ramadan. As
expected, the khateeb (speaker) gave a
beautiful khutbah (sermon) about fasting.
He explained how there is no act of worship
comparable to this because it is the one act
of worship done solely for the sake of Allah
subhanahu wa ta`ala (Glorified is He). I
felt as if I was hearing the concept of
fasting for the very first time in my life;
because for me, it was the very first time in
my life where it was not definite that I
would be able to fast. My eyes filled with
tears as this thought became more of a
reality. Last Ramadan I never would have
considered the possibility that only one year
later, I would be uncertain about my ability
to partake in one of the most special parts
of Ramadan.
I feel like I listened to the khutbah in a
different light than everyone else that day.
For others, it may have been an annual
reminder about the blessings and beauty of
the upcoming fasts. For me, however, it was
an eye-opening reality that forced me to
apprehend my lifelong ungratefulness.
As I broke down in front of my close friend
that night, I grieved over the timing of this
situation. She stopped me mid-sentence and
said, “Perhaps this is the best time.” She
continued to explain that yes, a significant
part of Ramadan is about fasting, but it is
also about developing and strengthening
your relationship with Allah (swt). The
beauty of the situation is that, while I may
be experiencing one of the most difficult
times in my life, I am doing so in the most
blessed month out of the entire year where
His divine mercy is shown everywhere. In
that instant, I realized what an amazing
blessing I was given. I realized that this
couldn’t have happened at a better time.
“Verily, with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an
94:6 )
As only a few days remained before the
commencing of Ramadan, I met with my
doctor and reluctantly asked her again
about the possibility of fasting. I spoke
from the heart and explained that one’s
health is a priority in Islam, but it would
mean the world to me if we could figure out
a way to safely go about fasting, although
we are still in the beginning stages of
treatment. To my surprise, she was
extremely understanding and willing to try
any sort of changes in medication to make
it work. Currently, we have entered into the
last 10 days of Ramadan and I feel so
unbelievably blessed to be fasting and
experiencing this month as I would
ordinarily. However, I have come into this
month with a new frame of mind. I am
truly thankful for how easy my situation has
become, and for every other functioning
part of my body that I previously tended to
neglect.
We are all faced with trials that come in
different forms and at different times in
our lives. Theses trials have the ability to
make or break us. It all depends on your
attitude and your willingness to put your
trust in Allah (swt). I originally considered
my diagnosis and its timing an absolute
disaster. However, with a change in
perspective, I am able to view this situation
as one of the greatest gifts that Allah (swt)
could have given to me. Not only is this
hardship a means of attaining closeness to
Him, it is also happening at one of the most
beautiful, blessed moments in time.
May Allah (swt) make us successful in our
journey back to Him this Ramadan. Let us
never neglect to be eternally grateful for
every imperceptible cell that seamlessly
functions so efficiently and beautifully
within our bodies. Ameen.
By war4u